Man do I have a blossom tonight. I was big time C, after not having a significant poop in 16 days. I blame myself and yummy painkillers. Mostly myself. OK, all myself.
Did I mention I hadn't gone #2 in 16 days? BAD Nelly. I was really plugged, and it was All My Fault.
So I had two benefiber at night, 2 in the morning, and 2 at lunch.
After lunch, I used the pot to push for a while, to no avail. I did the "ears in the knees" pose, the "ballerina on the tips of her toes" pose, and the "reaching side to side" thing (think YMCA dance), all of which would have been lovely dances except for all of the red-faced grunting. I expelled a tiny bit of trapped gas, and gave myself an A for my attempt at 2nd grade gym, but nothing was moving.
I actually poked "up there" (EEWWW!!) to see where it was and what its consistency was like, but since it was in the same place where it had been the night BEFORE, I made an executive decision that since anything I was taking orally would need time, like geological time, to escape, and due to my level of uncomfortability, a gelatin suppository (FLEET) would have to do the trick.
Unable to stand any more of the pushing anyway, I grabbed the jar of glycerin suppositories, and my little latex gloves they give me with my hair color (Note to self, blondify hair, buy more gloves. ). As the bullet-shaped suppository was going in, I felt it push past several small BMs the size of doll heads. *faint*
I know it takes a while for these things to get going, but I chose to go with them 'cos they are gentler on me, and I don't get "dry heave" pushing afterwards! When everything's out, everything's out. Plus Golden Girls was on, so I could lie comfortably for a while as I waited. I love Golden Girls. There, I've said it.
About an hour passed before I felt something working. But I made myself wait another half hour before I started moving. I wobbled to the pot and sat down-- first, the glycerin dribbled out. Boy, I was a little anxious after that. I mean these things would make me fill up the pot with a snakey reddish-brown garden hose BM if taken under different circumstances. (Always keep these buggers around, especially if you're C!!!) Remember, I'm a D, and don't worry about this kind of stuff unless there's medicine involved.
But this time it was like LABOR and I finally gave birth to 5 or 6 egg-shaped rocks. I'm so glad I didn't wait longer before I got to them, but I'm banging my head against the wall that I waited this long!!!!!!!!!
THANKS GUYS! I needed to vent and there is no way I could ever tell this story anywhere else. I have a lovely little blossom to commemorate this event by. (If anybody knows what a blossom is, well, it's a prolapse.) I get one on "special occasions" like these, and mine go away on their own. But these blooming flowers take actual big fancy operations, as a couple people on this board can tell you-- the operation's nothing to laugh at!
I don't know if this evac is actually done with, but I wanted to post to say hi to everybody and let people know that Yes I'm around!!!!!
Love to everybody!!!,
~nelly~ (In bloom)
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