Irritable Bowel Syndrome Message Boards

Home alone on Valentines this year, and thought I'd post an update on the therapy sessions.
I've had 3 therapy appts. now for my anxiety/phobia over throwing up. Its been VERY hard and so far I feel worse, but I'm hopeful and actually becoming somewhat confident that I'm going to come out the other side of this with a quieter mind and more freedom from this. I'm also upping my anti-anxiety meds right now, in the hope that they'll actually do something for me finally.
I've slowed down on CBT because it was just stirred up too much anxiety for me. I wasn't ready yet. Instead, right now we've been talking a lot about why I might have developed and kept this pattern. She has me thinking about what this constant voice of fear is keeping me from really feeling - what am I avoiding by going through this craziness. I've approached this from other angles before, but this was new and helpful. Noticing how the thoughts often come up when I'm feeling any emotion very intensely seems to be part of the key for me. Also we've been talking all about shame and my childhood which was very influenced by IBS from an early age and how it colored my self-image as an adult. How I view getting sick as this frightening and also maybe shameful thing.
To sum up, basically every minute of therapy has sucked so far! Its so hard and leaves me feeling so shaky afterwards. Still, I'll be going back for more next week.
What do you think fellow-phobics? Does this stuff sound at all similar to your experience?

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Ladies & gentlemen take my advice, pull down your pants and slide on the ice.

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