Irritable Bowel Syndrome Message Boards | Re: I don't know how you did this

It's true you can't force your mother to do anything - and you certainly need to guard against getting as obsessed with her as she is with food - but there are things you can try to help her.

Talk to her doctor. That will make sure he's aware of her problems and if he agrees with you that OA will be good for her, he can reinforce your message. He can also consider whether she is clinically depressed.

Get the family literature from OA and see what they suggest. You trust OA to help your mother so also trust OA to help you help her.

Attend an O-Anon or Open OA meeting yourself. If you can't find an O-Anon meeting, an Al-Anon meeting would also help - the issues are very similar. This will help you with detachment.

It sounds like other family members are concerned, so you could consider an intervention. I'm not sure how you would get help doing this. A local alcohol or drug rehab center might be able to direct you or her doctor might know or there may be discussion of it in the family OA literature. Since your stepfather is a pastor, he may know, also.

You could simply talk to your mother yourself, not to tell her what she must do but simply to tell her how you feel. "I love you." "I feel like I'm losing you to your food addiction and I miss you." "I signed you up for the OA newsletter without telling you. I know you'll be angry, but I'm so afraid of how you're hurting yourself that I didn't know what else to do." "I'm so desperate to help you that I even considered kidnapping you and taking you to an OA meeting." "It breaks my heart to see you make yourself so sick. Please tell me what I can do to help you."

Here are a couple of links you might find helpful:

web page
web page

I hope this helps. Addictions are heart-breaking, but there is always hope.

Take care.

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[Research tells us fourteen out of any ten individuals likes chocolate. - Sandra Boynton]

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