Thanks Blondie. Yes, I am concerned about how WIll is handling all this. His mother died of breast cancer, a slow, painful death, when Will was 12. He never dealt with it, he used to have anger issues but after spending some time in the military, he mellowed a bit.
His way of dealing with illness is by ignoring it and it'll go away. The kind of putting your hands over your ears and going lalalalalala, if you know what I mean. He has thrown himself into his work and has been drinking more than he should. The drinking isn't to the point of needing intervention or anything and he doesn't get mean or anything, in fact, just the opposite! He gets all slobbery, mushy after he has had a few drinks!  
He understands the severity of my illness but does not want to attend any doctors appts-says he doesn't want to take the time off. Ok, I'm a big girl, I can d\go to appts by myself. He is pretty good (for a guy!) at helping out when I'm too sick to cook and stuff. He lets me be when I just want to lay on the couch and asks me if he can get me anything.
I feel guilty for being sick. I know I shouldn't but I do. I feel like I'm holding him back and he should be having fun instead of worrying about me and how sick I am. I feel bad because I never feel well enough to go out or have as many porch parties as we used to in the summer. Thats why, on the rare occasion when we do make some sort of plans, I feel so obligated. I've asked him to go and talk to my shrink about it all and he says he is too busy and its too far (35 minutes) and there is always an excuse. I don't want to pressure him but it has affected our relationship. I feel bad because I'm always to sick to have sex and I don't keep the house as clean as I used to, etc, etc. Its all I can do though to work full time, there's just nothing left.  So, yes, I am worried about Will and our relationship. I haven't talked to Will as much as I should about it because, frankly, I don't have the energy and can't hold a thought long enough to have such a meaningful conversation. I know he isn't seeing anyone else and he still says he loves me and I'm pretty sure we will work things out as long as I can get healthy. 
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Taking it one day at a time.....
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Re: Your poor thing
