The receptionist at the free phych cliic who was trying to find me the number of the hospital's pain management clinic (THERE WASN"T ONE) told me as I lay weeping after my third failed call to the standard hospital info number, "Oh honey, at least you don't look sick."
TIME STOPPED.  
Wait, I KNOW this.
I should fire one back at her. What should it be, Lupus? Tuberculosis? People with AIDS don't look sick, DO they? Or Meningentis, less stigma?
No. I just slumped and wept. Wept softly to myself, head down, stained piece of damp paper scribbled with doctor's notes now a wet mess in my trembling hands. I just shook my head. "Yes, I guess I don't look sick." A Nelly all time low.
I never found a pain clinic at that hospital so I went home. On the Internet I found just a fibromyalgia NIH study that tests SSRIs (which make me suicidal).
Something to talk about with the free conselor today, no doubt. Got to go back to the same place to meet with somemone so I can "Talk it out." Nelly's frustration condensed version, lite. Sponsored by Kleenex.
~nelly~
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I got the "AT LEAST YOU DON"T LOOK SICK" line
