Reged: 08/09/04
Posts: 1329
Loc: UK - Leeds for uni, Merseyside for home!
she was so unhelpful really...well not so much unhelpful as completely none responsive...everything I told her shes just looked at me blankly and was like ok....I told her about the cyst and she was like yea probably stress and then I told her about needing a note and she said yea and did me one....that was that. She did say that I need to take time out and consider everything....I think she understands that Im under stress and its not good for me.
Ive written a letter to my tutors which I am taking to them tomorrow...and I think I am going to defer...but it will all rest on what they say. I spoke to a uni counsellor today too and she said that it seems like Ive already made the decision in my head.
I know in my heart of hearts that although this is a VERY hard decision right now and not one Im making lightly, I really really think it is for the best. Only I know what my portfolio is like right now and what my confidence in my ability is like and I KNOW I can do better...yes lots of things might change...but I should have been made to repeat 2nd year really so to me this is giving myself that second chance. I stand a MUCH MUCH better chance of getting into a great firm with more exciting job opportunities if I do this...and yes it will affect my debts and I know all that will add stress etc...but dya know what?? I am actually excited about doing it again....I LOVE my subject so much...I just havent been able to do what I want with it and to me this is a second shot...even if it doesnt work out atleast I can say I tried. Im gona have to fight my way to get there but thats me all over and all the people who are doubting my decision well I feel like I CAN prove them wrong. Ive never been your average person anyways....Im always one wanting to defy the odds.... so when people say but a lot of student end up this and a lot of students end up that, as though its a bad option well I think....Im NOT just any student....I KNOW I can do this and I have everyone (friedns family etc) supporting me. My mum jst told me that my aunty who did a degree through the open university...went through a tough time aparently near the end and she defered and ended up with a 1st class and is so glad she took the time to get herself sorted so she could face it. I feel like thats me all over...I need to sort myself out...I was NEVER ready to face 3rd year, Im surprised actually with everything thats happened that Ive made it this far! To me this is the SENSIBLE option and my mum agrees with me....theres no point having wasted a degree and right now I feel like I would. I want to prepare myself for next year so that I ENJOY it...cos thats the great thing about my subject...its different...its ur project...ur baby...theres no set rules....its exciting...u can make it how u want.....choose something u love to base it on....it develops naturally and u cant get bored with it like u can ur average subject. Im definately NOT bored with the project Im doing now...Ive just physically ground to a holt and know i cant present it the way I know I am capable of doing!
I think Ive convinced myself enough now havent I....thanks for great advice....will keep u all updated....but aslong as my tutors support me then Ive made my decision.
Posts
Oh the doctor was rubbish.....
Natalie 
