Irritable Bowel Syndrome Message Boards

I really wish I did have some quality work...but trust me I dont...and Im not exagerating...I have no portfolio whatsoever right now and my tutor last year told me I wouldnt get a job with what I had then and what Ive done since is not how I want it to be. Im staying here anyways and was planning on this extra year of time to sort myself out and to me this defering thing is just a part of that and a chance to end up feeling proud of myself at gradution. I can honestly say that right now if I was to graduate in July I would end up smiling on the pictures but not feeling truly satisfied or proud of myself at all. I WANT THAT!!! Ive been listening to what everyone has to say...and people have valid points...what if my health was bad next year and I had problems again...well true...that could happen...but atleast I'd have given it a shot and this time I would be prepared like I just feel I havent been this year. The other thing is...Im only 21 and everyone in my course bar a couple of us is a year or so older, so Ive always felt behind and at the end of the day theyre the people Im competing against.....I want to feel confident that I am ready to aim high when I finish...right now Id be settling for a job somewhere when I KNOW I could be doing better. The other thing is that I LOVE the subject...Ive been getting really into it this year and I just feel Im going to leave completely unfulfilled. I know all the stress and worry that has been in the past 6 months has been mainly down to lack of preparation and now I know how I should have handled things I know I could tackle it better next time. Some of the people who are top of my class right now havent even worked as many hours on this as I have or got half as stressed...theyve just been prepared, organsied and ready for their final project...in a way that I just wasnt. I really feel like this is a chnace for me to better myself...I really do...Im not thinking its gona be easy...but trust me I would probably enjoy it much more than I have because more than anything I'll be prepared. And I know I will learn on the job...I just think I need to rebuild my confidence and I think defering will give me that chance. Anyways...Im going to speak to the uni counsellor soon....I want to see what they say...thanks so much for all ur input...will keep you posted.

--------------------

Natalie

Print Remind Me Notify Moderator