Reged: 08/09/04
Posts: 1329
Loc: UK - Leeds for uni, Merseyside for home!
Hey everyone,
I know a lot of you know I am a couple of weeks away from finishing my BA(Hons) Degree in Interior Design...well...you probably know all about the stress Ive been having with the major project and the fact that Ive struggled to keep up and have gotten behind a bit and then even more since feeling ill last week....and I have what seems to be an impossible amount of work to do and I AM NOT exagerating...then theres my flatmates preganncy that upset everything even more and my multiple hospital visits this year for gastroscopy/colonoscopy/bareum and how everything was getting on top of me last week and I had a major breakdown...
well...I ended up with a painful cyst which I think was stress related and I made a doctors appt for tomorrow to get a note for all my hopsital visits and to see about that so that I could ask my tutors for a possible extension and stop being so stubborn about it like I was being and to jst admit I should be allowed to get extra time...well....
I have been doing some major thinking these last few days and I have been contemplating defering this porject until next year....Im gona tell you my reasons for this and weigh up the pros and cons and see what you think....
Firstly...it would mean that I just redo this part of my degree which would just mean jan-may next year(5 months)which is nothing really for the sake of getting a good degree....the reason is I am no where near finishing and I know I cannot do what I am capable of doing in that time and that would mean missing the exhibition which is what my degree leads up to and what I have been building up to since I first started my degree.
One of the main reasons I think I cant do it is because I have lost confidence in my drawing and visual presentation techniques because I messed about so much in 2nd year and let myself get behind...too much play and not enough work...which was so out of character for me...but I think much needed cos I have worked hard my whole life. And so because of that I already felt at a disadvantage this year and have struggled to keep up....most people on my course are atleast a year older anyway cos they did a foundation course...so I was always at a disadvantage to start with in the first place. I am one of those people who likes to be ontop of things and works better when I am...when I get behind I panic and struggle to get back...and thats whats basically been happening since 2nd year.
The thing is I have racked up 15,000 pounds in student loans etc and I dont want to feel like that is money wasted...I wanted to come out of a degree feeling like I did my best and have got my moneys worth...my career is all based on a portfolio and right now I dont have one thats even half as good as it should be. So to me...5 extra months could be the difference between getting a good job and a not so good job in terms of the competition and architects firms who are likely to take me on.
I have a house here in leeds next year anyways and so I was already planning on staying here for longer so it doesnt upset that at all...it would mean I would have to get a crappy full time job from now till january to sort my finances out and pay bills, whilst at the same time developing my design skills, working on a portfolio and giving myself a head start on the major project so that I am more prepared to face it next time and could go in aiming high, with an advantage over most people in that year(who are currently the year below)
I just really dont want to try and rush everything now for the sake of getting a degree....at the end of the day I want to get the best degree I can and I know I am capable of so much more!!
The downsides are....it would mean not graduating till next yr and so missing out on being there with my classmates(altho some r defering too)
It will cost me 500+ quid in tuition fees and a possible 1000 pound extra loan, though if I work from now I cud help with the financial situation....but whats an extra 1500 debt on top of 15,000 in order to get the best possible start for my future??
It would also mean going thru the stress again...but I think it is my lack of preparation and numerous health visits which have affected that....I would make sure that I am more prepared and focused next time and I think that way I would enjoy it(like I was before I got behind) and treat it more as a challenge than a stress.
I dont know...what do u guys think...should I defer?? I know I can cos I have medical evidence...its just a case of knowing whats best for me...I am so tired and worn out right now...I need a break and I need a clear head to be able to do this the way I want....I really having been so down lately and people keep telling me its not worth getting this stressed out about...I know I set myself high standards...but I used to cope so well at school and I dont want to feel like I messed it all up at uni....defering seems the most sensible option and hopefully Ill end my degree next year feeling fulfilled in a way I just couldnt rite now....what do u think???
Posts
HUGE DECISION....advice needed please!(sorry to waffle)
Natalie 
