Reged: 08/09/04
Posts: 1329
Loc: UK - Leeds for uni, Merseyside for home!
I am REALLY REALLY worried about my friend right now...she doesnt seem to know what shes doing or thinking for that matter. She is behaving very irrational and dealing with things in a very bizarre way....we all just dont know what to say to her. Shes really only thinking about herself in the matter...I dont even think shes considered the baby...not really....it always comes down to how painful the termination might be or the birth for that matter or money and things like that...and I suppose yea....obviously shes gona think about these things....but when she thinks about the fact of keeping it...she seems to be treating it more like an object we feel....we are worried that shes gona make her decision based upon the wrong reasons.
Today was aweful...cos she aparently woke up and had decided she wanted to keep the baby and try and make things work with her boyfriend....now after the way hes treated her and based upon what we know...he doesnt want her...and theres NO WAY he wants a baby....though she seems to think that some how she can CONVINCE him to sort thing out..FOR THE BABYS SAKE Like thats gona be the most sensible thing to do when its quite obvious that the relationship has been dying a slow death and she is clingin on to hope that they will get back together. I think this time it is final but she wont accept that.
Yesterday she wanted nothing to do with him...now she is begging him back. She borrowed my flatmates phone to ring him and then I heard her crying and screaming and begging for him to come back and saying Im sorry and Ill change and all this. She even lied saying her sister would buy them a house and they could work things out and a load of other crap and pointless arguments. Its like we keep telling her...this is not about him and her anymore....its about the fact that theyve created a baby and they need to decide what to do about it. She even tried to get another friend to ring him and convince him to get back with her. Its just getting ridiculous now....like shes going to keep the baby to try and trap him or something....but she really upset my other flatmate by some of things shes was saying on the phone to him....we could hear everything through the walls...my flatmate just feels so aweful for the baby...cos she feels like theyre not even considering it as a baby...its like it an object thats being played and manipulated with. And if she decides on keeping it then its aweful that theyre treating it like this. What kind of a child would want to be born into so much hate?
Whats made it worse is that there was a programme on tv last night all about pregnancy and abortion and birth and all the related topics...and everything just hit home more. The last thing we heard was her begging and crying and then he put the phone down. Then my other flatmate was just returning back after easter with her dad and so we had to conceal everything from him and while we were in the kitchen she replaced my flatmates phone in her room and left the house. We havent seen her since. We are convinced shes gone to see him but I am scared for her....cos we have bad feelings that he will force her into having an abortion and say if she does they can get back together and then dump her afterwards. It wouldnt surprise me the way he is. Either that or he'll treat her even worse than he already has and she'll slit her wrists or something(cos she has in the past) or worse do something terrible.
She hasnt come back yet....its getting late and her only other girlfriend hasnt heard from her either. If shes not back tomorrow I will be terrified...I am praying so hard that she doesnt do something stupid. Please keep her in your thoughts....this is so hard for me right now having to see her go through it....I just dont know what else we can do....
Posts
ANOTHER UPDATE...so things just got worse....
Like thats gona be the most sensible thing to do when its quite obvious that the relationship has been dying a slow death and she is clingin on to hope that they will get back together. I think this time it is final but she wont accept that.
Natalie 
