Irritable Bowel Syndrome Message Boards | update on me and mike (remember november had problems?)

well.....

obviously if you read any of my posts...i mention mike still...so obviuosly we are together.

We've been actually really working on problems solving...and not getting into stupid arguments, we still have our fights...in the last few months only like 2 or 3...our main problem has been communication. now we say what we can, so the other knows how the other feels. which has worked. like there are little things he does, like if my clothes are on the bed, and he get into bed (i'm at work, so i'm not there when he goes to bed) he'll throw my stuff on the floor. or if my laundry basket is over by the laundry, and i just throw my undies or something into his basket, he'll throw them out, and onto the floor. (which really really pisses me off) so i told him, it makes me upset, because its like disrespectful to me and my things, i don't have him do any of my laundry, but if his stuff makes it to my basket somehow, i'll do whatever is in there...and seems like he can be mroe respectful. i told him it to me is rejecting me somehow, i told him my cothes probably suicided themselves...because his work clothes were in there...to make light of it, but i told him is hurts my feelings because it just seems mean, when my clothes on the bed or whatever, he'll throw on the floor, i just said, i know they aren't where they belong, so if you stick it in my way, i don't mind, or just help me, becuase i have no problem picking your stuff up someimes...he's a very neat person...so i don't find him messy at all..and i'm not either.well i was, until we moved together. so he said he didn't realize it made me feel like that and he wont...

then i told him that really, our complaints about eachother are so little, like we get along great usually...so the things we have a problem with, are really not huge issues..the things i feel are a little passive, which is why when he does things it can bother me, and then blows up more...isn't really like other couples who bicker about everything, or just do things intentionally to hurt the other. we don't do that...ususally...it's just small things that we try to work on.

there have been other fights, and he always seems to think i'm trying to leave him, so he freaks out and gets all weird...but he said now he realizes neither one is going to leave the other...so we just need to give some space if we are angry, and come back and talk, because i always want to go for a drive, cool off, then talk, but he thinks i'm leaving forever. so then it gets all crazy....so he said recently he has to just let me leave and come back, and i'll be better to talk to...otherwise i freak out...its like backing a cat in the corner...if you don't let me breath for a second, you'll get scratches all over your face..you know...

so we've both been working on it, and i've seen his effort too. we dont' try to read eachother's minds as much as we use to...we talk and ask...becuas sometimes you can be wayyyyy off if you try to mind read....so i'm very happy that we are both doing what we can to get right.

it's been hard, me working night, he works days, and we see eachother for 15-30 minutes when i pass my daughter into his care. i'll be not working soon, so i think we have to grin and bare it for now. he's looking at a 8-5 job with full benifits..vacation.,..all that stuff...so hopefully he gets that, becuase the guy he works for is a loser (it's construction right now)

anyway, just wanted to share...we are doing better, planing on moving in a few months, hopefully before baby...we need something cheaper...and getting ready for baby...

anyway, thats it. take care every one!!

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