Reged: 08/06/04
Posts: 4381
Loc: Within stray mortar fire of DC
Min, you're a real survivor. You so don't deserve a controling, manipulative mother like this. I have one too, who always thinks she knows better than the professionals. At 6 she let my pneumonia go undiagnosed for so long that when my dod finally brought me to the doctor I had to be rushed into the hospital and I missed a month of school due to complications; she never let my friends see me when I was bedridden for 2 years after a 5 month long hospitalization (I had to find out years later that my friends even visited me in the first place-- I had to tough it out alone because she turned them away at the door and never said anything); She'd sneak forbidden food into my meals to "test" the doctors' diagnosis; and she lives from crisis to crisis, trying to fix everything while she's really incompetant and too ignorant to help. Often she compounds my problems by manipulation and false offers of help. I understand kinda where you're coming from.
The only way I've found to manage the effects of her tendencies is to distance myself from her and if it's necessary to talk about myself I fabricate problems that she can "fix." That way I distance myself from the truth and therby manipulate her in return. Healthy? Maybe not. But it works.
Oh, and I NEVER eat anything I haven't prepared myself. I went 3 days in France without eating (so she thought) because I was sneeking safe food in my room (Thanks to Natalie1985 for the crispy bars!).
The sucky part is when i think she's changed, even a little. I have to remind myself of all the things I need to watch out for. It's easier that I have my brother to talk to about this. He's never been sick, but she's tried to have her fingers in all of his pies since he was a kid too. Maybe laughing at her in the open with the support of the other people in her life who have been manipulated will help-- It's a cathartic activity for my bro and me.
Screwed up situation, Mindy. Maybe you've already written her off in your mind, but the rest of it is slowly catching up. Get yourself a "safe place" to go to while you're up in PA, somewhere you can hide out to get de-stressed. Good luck to you!!!!
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