Irritable Bowel Syndrome Message Boards

Wow, Min, seems like you have taken lots of progressive steps to sort this out, it's such a difficult one.

My Mom is the opposite, she practically sets up disastrous situations for herself, more by omissions than acts, so that we (my sister and I) will swoop in and save the day.
It sounds like your Mom she is defining herself based on being Mindy's Mom etc as opposed to living her own life and finding who she is herself.

I have an aunt who acts in a similar way with my Grandmother, always being very good to her, in a very public way, as if to just have people say how good she is to her mother, but really we think that is the reason she is doing it.

It sounds like your Mother does mean well, and that she has a lot of love to give, but that she has a need to be needed. There are so many organisations and charities that would really benefit from her energy and help but she is using it to upset those closest to her rather than help.

Thanks for mentioning my family issues, we had a rough June and July but eventually Dad saw sense and stopped drinking, he didn't go to therapy though. This lasted until a four day binge in October (while we were on honeymoon) and he has been back on his medication and off drink since (as far as we can tell) Mam is always on edge, looking for signs that he is going to drink again etc which drives us all crazy. She is pretty stressed at the moment as she is working very hard and my sister and I are organising Christmas in her place, with all the gifts etc being bought by us and Mam promising to pay us and thanking us.

You're lucky to have Will, in the same way I am lucky to have Padhraig. It's great to have someone strong to stand beside you and support you. Hope you are doing OK, Christmas can be such a hard time, I am sort of dreading it this year, our first married Christmas, which is pretty sad

but I'm sure it'll work out fine, it normally does.

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S.

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