Michelle, I hurt for you too, but I know I could never understand all the levels of pain you're now feeling. I'm so sorry about all that you've had to go through. But please don't blame yourself. Even though I don't know you that well, from your posts I can tell you are loving and smart woman. You did everything you could for your babies - you did everything a mother could to protect them but it's not your fault they didn't make it. Let yourself grieve without guilt. You may never get completely over the loss, but you're a strong woman and you will get through the trauma. I'm sorry you're alone right now, but you know you have all of us thinking about you and praying for you and your husband.