Michelle, grieve. That is the right thing to do at this time. God will heal this space. He will give you what you need for this time in your life. I'm thankful you have Will. Please, hold on. Your body is rebelling against all of these hormones and the changes you have gone through. Your body must heal now too.
No one ever forgets the baby that they lost. I still think of my child too, and that loss has been more than 12 years ago. Your grief will lessen in time. Please know that you are loved and cared for by so many!! We are praying for you and hoping that you will lean on us right now. Much love, gentle hugs and fervant prayers for you.