I can't imagine what pain you're in. All your feelings you're having...they are totally justified. How can you NOT feel such hurt? Even blame? You probably are incapable of seeing this right now, but you ARE NOT THE CAUSE OF THIS. As amazing as we all are, we do not have ultimate control. We try as hard and as hard as we can, but sometimes it just isn't enough. Your soul isn't gone. It's there, a little beaten and bruised but it's there. I'm glad Will has been there for you, but don't forget that you love him too. Depend on him now, and let him depend on you. And if you need to cry, just cry. Cry to whoever will listen. That is your right. You have the right to grieve now. It pains me to hear you say there will never be a baby in that room. Maybe you won't be able to overcome whatever physical or medical problems you have, but there are babies in this world, waiting for mommies. Babies who need all the love you are wanting to give. I know you probably don't even want to think about that right now.....I wouldn't I guess. But it's still true.
I can't even think of anything to say to make things better, cause I know it won't. If I could somehow take some of your hurt on my shoulders, I would.
Please don't give up on anything, especially yourself.
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Michele.....
