After FINALLY seeing a gynecologist today, I've been tentatively diagnosed with endometriosis. Yeah, so, I guess that during a vaginal exam, it isn't normal to scream and jump two feet in the air.
"tentative" because the doctor put it at 90%. I think he's just giving himself some wiggle room because he's positive enough that he wants to treat it. He presented a couple options and I need to decide what to do. At this point I think I am going to do the laparoscopy before trying any of the hormonal treatments. Mainly this is because I'm still sort of hoping I don't really have it and that the laparoscopy will show I'm fine. Of course, the doctor said even with the lap it's very easy to miss endo because it can be microscopic or just plain hard to see.
I also was diagnosed with vestibulitis. UGH. And also, hello, how could this have been missed?? I mean, I've been complaining about this for the LAST FIVE YEARS at every pelvic exam.
I have an ultrasound next week because the doctor thinks that though the horrid blood/cramping stuff could be endo-related that it's possible it's fibroids. He said that these attacks I have sounds like my uterus is trying to get rid of a fibroid. Or something like that. I forget exactly what he said but I do know it made me wince and grab my abdomen.
The good news, I guess, is that my ovaries didn't hurt. This does not mean they aren't disease-ridden, but, hey, whatever.
Anyway. Very bummed about this.  It's almost December. I was supposed to be trying to get pregnant in another month. I know endo doesn't necessarily mean infertility, but at the same time, I can't imagine trying to get pregnant in the state I'm in now. I worry sometimes about what the meds are doing to my own body, let alone a baby's! 
So. I did some eyeball-leaking earlier, but I'm a little better. I was really depressed so I decided, the hell with the bread and water diet, I have four days off and I am going to totally indulge!!!! I dithered around and finally ended up buying some fat-free Cool Whip (bad stuff: HFCS and caseinate) to put on my low-fat brownies. God, I am so lame. I can't even cheat right. I also hunted around for something nice to wear to bed, and found some sexy camisoles for only $3 on clearance, but then I thought, well, I don't have anything to match on the bottom, and a sexy camisole will look dumb with Looney Tunes boxer shorts.
Oh well. Guess I'll get through it somehow. Sometimes it just sucks to be a girl.
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jen
"It's one of the most serious things that can possibly happen to one in a battle -- to get one's head cut off." -- LC
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