Irritable Bowel Syndrome Message Boards | Could really use some advice, so confused (looong)

Hi guys,

I feel like I could really use some advice, and I thought maybe some of you guys would have some input as lots of you know all the ups and down I've been through in the past 2 years.

Have you ever had a dilemma where you literally just have no idea what to do? What the right thing to do AND what you _want_ to do? I don't know either, which is crazy...

Basically, in one statement, I don't know whether or not Adrian and I should stay here in Canada or move back to the UK.
Things in England were admittedly not GREAT, but I think a part of that was that I had really built up my home in Canada while I was away and had a huge let down when I got back here. A lot of the things I came back for are irrelevant now, so I feel on somewhat equal footing as far as what I have. I lost one of my best friends, my relationshop with my sister (which used to be REALLY close) is basically (and very hurtful to me) non-existant and my other best friend is probably moving to the USA for 3 years and she is really my only close friend anymore.
So here I have:
-My family (but my mom drives me absolutely nuts)
-My job (which is a good job, with good benefits that although I don't actually ENJOY, I think it is really good for me)
-Some friends
-University, if I want to go back (which I am about 80% on right now for going), will be less expensive here as over there I would be an "International Student"

So here is the big downer: Things here did not work AT ALL like they were supposed to. Adrian works a really crappy job, we work opposite hours, we never see each other, he makes really bad money so we are broke and it gets harder every day to carry on like that. He LOVED his job in England, but is so miserable about his job here. He has no friends here and gets really homesick and miserable, and often takes it out by getting super irritable with me for little things.
We had more money in England, he had friends, we had a social life, yada yada yada. Living with his family was a nightmare, but we could move out faster there (hopefully!).

So what do I do? Do I up myself again at the chance that Adrian could be happy again? He hasn't said he will move back, he has said he wants to but feels like that would be "giving up" but I know if I pushed the issue he would be relieved that I want to leave.

Problems:
-Adrian might not be able to get his job back, and then where would we be?
-What would I do for work? I could get my job at the police station back, but in the end I really didn't like it there.
-What if I can't hack it there again? Am I getting too old (well, 23, but still..) to just keep moving from one place to the other? How will I settle if I keep doing this?
-What about Uni?
-We will at first have to live with Adrian's family, what if that is just as bad?
-We own a car here, owe money on it and I am in credit card debt... I can't afford to move and be unemployed for ANY amount of time or I will slip into crazy debt, especially in England...

I literally don't know what the right thing is, or even where I want to be. I feel like I loved some parts of England and like I don't belong here, but if I was meant to be there why didn't I want to stay there the first time?

Any advice or input or similar stories to share would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks guys, sorry to ramble on so much!

Cheers,
--Steph

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~~I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell-I know right now you can't tell~~Matchbox 20
IBS-D,pain.

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