Hey, Cindy. Like you, I have IBS-D, agoraphobia/generalized anxiety disorder, etc. I'm 31 years young (although I feel like a crone, today). I take buspar for my anxiety/panic and obsessive/compulsive disorder.
I also have epilepsy--but it's mild and I don't have seizures anymore beyond absence seizures. I take tegretol for that.
I also suffer from a bimodal circadian rhythm disorder and my body clock is beyond warped. I don't sleep.
I'm in cavewoman mode, currently...barely leaving the house, not to mention peeking outdoors. I'm so phobic that I won't even read the news to expose myself to potential fearful things. I haven't gone to church in years (phobia) and quit school due to anxiety/agoraphobia. Re: shopping. Well...beyond groceries which I do at quiet times as fast as possible and while on prescription drugs, that's about it.
I haven't been to a mall or even the silly Walmart in years, I think. I am too afraid now to even drive! Most of the time, I do not even answer the phone or the door. I have as much as I can have delivered to my home, done so.
So...that's me, today and lately. In hiding. Beyond SAD (seasonally affected).
I'm in "pink elephant" mode at the moment, dissociating to survive...on the "outside" looking in, just kind of hovering/floating, waiting until spring! I know, it's not even winter.
Re: Holiday shopping. I just give cash.
My dream/goal: SLEEP. Seriously, I can't remember sleep!
I feel like an "electric sheep" or an android, so sleep deprived and it intensifies the anxiety/panic so I just AVOID and in avoiding live in a void. So, it's a big cozy black hole--literally black as my blinds and curtains are black to block the light. Indeed, my house looks kind of macabre and is conducive to a seance.
You're not alone. Thanks for speaking up.
Kate, IBS-D.
I'm in a nasty spell of agoraphobia
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