Hold on there, Girlfriend! Don't talk like that.
I've seen so many gals go through what you're going through right now, and I recall several who finally chose adoption. They surprised themselves with their ultimately incredible happiness with their new baby(ies), and one gal in particular, once she relaxed and started enjoying her adopted daughter, even ended up pregnant! Yep, it's true. And she eventually delivered twins.
Sweetie, this should not be something that causes a strain on your marriage. You should not feel "useless and unhappy." "If I went to sleep and never woke up it would be okay," is NOT acceptable. You must know that you have a lot more to offer than a uterus! Believe me, if that were the case, I'd be worthless -- remember, I was born without one!
The most important things are your happiness and your marriage. They come first, above everything else. Why not put the pregnancy thing up on the shelf for now -- just for now, you can always take it down later -- and quit with the shots and hormones and appointments -- just for now? Put it all on the shelf. Barbie told me about The Shelf. I have a girlfriend up on it, and I know she's there, so that if she ever comes back to me, I can bring her down if I want to.
Try to find some time for just you and hubby, go out to dinner, go to a show, get away from it all, even if for only an hour or two -- ENJOY each other again!
Then, AFTER AWHILE, maybe you might consider adopting a little child who desperately needs someone like you to love them. I would have done that, but hubby remained adamant: no children! How wonderful to give a loving home to a lost child who has nothing and no one to love him!
{{{{{{Hugs}}}}}}}}
Bevvy
-------------------- <img src="http://home.comcast.net/~letsrow/smily3481.gif">Bevvy
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