..only seeing this now, sorry to hear about your aunt. What about your Mom though? Parents don't really get the fact that their ADULT children are ADULTS, have lives, free wills, that kind of thing. Then when we say what is on our minds we get the guilt thing..."I won't be around forever you know".
You are right to have stood up to your Mom, good work girl. Now send your brother, SIL and nephew with her and let them carry some of it...