Irritable Bowel Syndrome Message Boards | Trouble in paradise.....

i just need to vent, maybe get some support...i'm so frusterated and really depressed right now...

as some may remember, my boyfriend and i got engaged in july. we moved in together in june. we'd been friends for a few months before we started dating. anyhow....lately it's like he's getting mad about almost everything. two days ago after i dropped my daughter off at school (she goes from 9:30 to 12:50 he called me and said he'd forgot to bring his timecard with him. so he asked if i would meet him, i told him that didn't really sound very fun, but i'd do it anyway...i thought he wanted to meet about 10 minutes from the house. then he asked a little later to meet closer to his work which is about 30 minutes away (mind you i live in the bay area...) so i didn't really want to...then he got mad and said "well see if i help you anymore if you need me. i wont take care of your daughter when you work then, i go out of my way, and you can't even do that?" so then i was like "i know, but i don't have much time for myself, but i'll do it" then appologized. so he just kept runing into the ground...and was mad at me for 2 days. then last night our kitten got ahold of my daughter's hair ribbon, and almost choked to death, so he got mad at me for leaving things out, and told me he would throw anything he sees left out away, of mine or my daughter's. and it's like he's constantly mad at me now, which i get mad back because he tends to talk down to me. then i tell him it makes me feel so small, and he doesnt' respond, but when he says something i do hurts his feelings i try to do what i can not to say something a hurtful way, or approch it differently.

we got in a car accident last thursday, which totalled his car, and i know he's stressed out about that....but that's no excuse to get short with me, i'm trying to be supportive, and whatever, and let him know i'll help with it too...because i have no car payments for my car...etc....but it's like he appreciates it...but he's so quick to jump down my throat.

i try to word things when he says mean things or whatever "what you did made me feel this way...." etc...or "when i heard you say this i felt this way..." you know.

then even in the morning sometimes i'm worried how he's going to be, becuase you just never know if he's going to be mad at me for something. most of it is because i'm not as clean as he is....he was in the military....and another place that makes you be pretty clean (don't want to mention, don't want a judgement on that one!!) but i'm not crazy like that. like he knows he's anal, and he tries to not have a problem with it, and he's done pretty well...but i think he just passes it off...then blows up when he's had too much. i'm not messy messy ( i was when i lived alone, but now i clean ALOT, trying to meet him halfway) if you came into our house, you would think it's really neat...but i do leave things out on occation. i know alot of it's not my fault, but i don't know what to do. i am thinking of mentioning counsoling....but that doene'st always go over too well...you know....i try to have him understand how i feel, and in turn try to understand how he feels, and even if it seems trivial to me, i try to take it serious because if it bothers him, then i should take note of it...but it's like he doesn't do the same. and i have mentioned it to him, that i take his problems or whatever seriously..so if he could return the thought, but he just stays stubborn, and refuses to back off.

i don't know if this really goes into detail about how i feel...but i'm so frusterated and upset. i love him alot, i know he loves me....and for the most we get along really really well, and we are really eachother's best friends, and i know friends and family get into arguments...and especially because we just moved in together, we are learning bounderies...but i feel like i'm trying to understand his, but he's not understanding mine...and i know guys can be stupid sometimes....but i just feel like i need some advise

sorry this was so long, but i spilled my guts out!!

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