Sorry, but I need help again
08/30/05 07:37 PM
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Augie
Reged: 10/27/04
Posts: 5807
Loc: Illinois
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I'm so sorry, but I need to unload again.
Recently I got some ideas for getting myself out of this dark hole. Mainly, by getting a new GI doc and, also, by getting a counselor to talk about living life with chronic pain, anxiety, and depression that comes along with it.
Well, I gathered up all my stength, made some phone call (this is very difficult to do when you feel beaten down already), and got myself an appointment with a new GI doc. His office is about 20 feet away from my old GI doc's, so I was very scared to go because I felt like a total betrayer.
The appointment was today which was good because I am having a particularly bad tummy day. I left work early and went.
I didn't even finish filling out the paperwork when the nurse calls me back. She takes my BP, asks me what med I am taking and leaves. I'm starting to feel very uncomfortable. These people are not very thorough. I mean, she didn't take any history or anything.
The doctor walks in about 3 or 4 minutes later, and asks me why I am there. I told him I hurt all the time, I'm constipated, and I have not received any advice on how to manage all my symptoms or what to do about my abnormal gallbladder, gastric emptying, and gluten antibodies.
Cutting to the point, he responds by simply telling me there is nothing he can do for me. I am too "dissident" and he doesn't want to waste my money. He decided this after less than 5 minutes? He said he scanned my chart and feels that I need to go to Mayo or some place in Ohio or even Northwestern in Chicago. I told him I tried to get into Northwestern where there is a good Motility expert but I was told by them that they couldn't help me. I told him I have no money to go to Mayo or Ohio...that I need a doctor close by. I asked him how he could make this decision without even talking with me or examining my chart. I thought about begging him to see me, but to be honest, he was an A**. He refused to even listen to me. He said he had made his decison and that he wished me well and walked out the door.
I am dumbfounded. Why can't I find someone to help me? This just makes me believe even more that God wants me to suffer for some reason. Why do I keep getting kicked? It took so much for me to go to someone else and this is how I am treated? I cannot afford to go to Mayo..the hotel costs, no insurance, driving back and forth for follow up? The doctor I saw today told me I need a team of doctors working on me. Well, what if I can't afford that? And what about my job? I just want a GI doctor to listen to me and to help me. What do I do now????
On top of that, I mustered the courage to call some counselors (before I went to this GI appointment). I was told that my insurance will only cover 7 visits per year, at 70% coverage, and a 750 dollar deductible. This is for the out of network Psych I liked. Even if I found one in network, they only cover 20 visits a year at 90% coverage and a 350 dollar deductible. That's less than 2 visits a month. I need more than that...and I don't have an additional 350 dollars for a deductible.
I need help...I need a Good GI doc, and a caring counselor. I am begging them for help, and no one cares...no one cares if I suffer. I'm not their problem and they don't want to make me their problem.
What is wrong with doctors that they will not help someone who is suffering and in pain and just begging for answers and help? I don't know what to do next? How many times must I go into this dark hole before I get buried...and the medical community seems to be shoveling the dirt and dumping it on me.
If these doctors won't help me...you guys must be very sick of me. Who is going to help me? Who is going to tell me what all these tests mean...what I can do to help the pain..what diet is appropriate...if any medications can help?
I actually begged the nurse at the doctor at Northwestern to see me... and she said "sorry, the doctor does not think he can help you". How scary that my body is so screwed up that doctors are refusing to see me? I am at a loss. Is this my life? Pain and suffering and anxiety over not haveing answers.
Tomorrow, I call my shrink and tell him what happened. He is the one who encouraged me to go to another GI. But look what happens when I finally, finally do. Shut down again.
Seeking advice from my buddies...please don't shut the door on me...please, don't get sick of me ...don't tell me I am too complicated to help... And, all who pray, keep praying. I am not doing well.
-------------------- ~ Beth
Constipation, pain prodominent,cramps, spasms and bloat!
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