Irritable Bowel Syndrome Message Boards | I feel like I'm drowning...

Hey Guys,

Could totally use some help here. As some of you know, I'm off on a disability leave right now because of mental illness...nothing really serious, primarily Generalized Anxiety Disorder and Panic Disorder. Anyways, without having work to keep me busy, I've been finding myself sorta wondering a lot about my life. I don't like my job...it's a good stop-gap measure, pays reasonably well and there are nice people, but it's not what I want to do with my life. I'm pursuing a University degree very slowly, but I'm not even sure if what I'm doing there is what I want to do with my life.

Anyways, I've been having these mini-breakdowns lately...crying and stuff and it always makes me feel like "what am I doing with my life." It could just be because I do so little right now, but that's only because my anxiety has gotten to the point where it's getting hard to leave the house.

I always wanted to be a writer, but abandoned that idea because I considered it "unrealistic"...similar to people who want to be singers or actors. However, I'm starting to wonder if it really is unrealistic. I've got the discipline, I could totally use a way to make money that I could do from home, and I used to be quite good at it. English was always my best subject, I won many writing awards throughout highschool and my teachers were always telling me to stick with it and try and hone my skills.

But really, I don't know if I could deal with the rejection that could potentially come with trying to do something like write. And, even if I got something written, I wouldn't even know where to begin to get it published...no clue

Anyways, can someone offer some nice words of wisdom or something? I'm sick of crying and feeling so useless all the time.

Thanks,
Kelly

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