Irritable Bowel Syndrome Message Boards

Hi all,

I just wanted to post this here because it seems like some of you guys are the only ones who will understand how I am feeling today.
My stomach woke me up this morning at 7:30 (on a Saturday, the darn thing!) in major pains. I spent the next several hours back and forth to the potty with attacks of D.
I have been taking 4 doses of antibiotics a day for the infection in my mouth, so I am assuming this is what has caused it.
Unbeknownst(sp?) to me, I have plans to go visit my family cabin today. I say I didn't know because usually my family just decides I will be there, lets me know at the last minute and I am completely unprepared and often have to scramble to cancel other plans, etc.
So apparently today was one of those days. My cabin is just across the border into the US, so it takes about 45 minutes to get to the border and then who knows how long to get across depending on the lineup.
The drive is not really an "IBS Friendly" one as it is through a lot of farm land and stuff, ie. nowhere to stop.

So now I am having major, major anxiety. I called my mom at the cabin, because she was thinking of staying overnight which means I wouldn't have to go down until tomorrow. She has decided, though, that she wants to come home today but she has no car so someone HAS to go down to pick her up. And she has decided that I am going down to spend the day. I told her I was really not feeling well, and it doesn't even mean anything.
She says to come down in a couple of hours, to just take immodium, that I can just NOT EAT for the day??? She talks to me like I am just a child who is being stubborn, but I'm not.
I tell her I can barely leave the bathroom, she tells me I can sit on the toilet at the cabin (the ONE toilet, might I add.. on a septic system). She says we should come down really soon because there is a music festival. Um, hello?? Did you not just hear what I said?? There are NO public bathrooms in the whole area, and she wants me to go to a bloody outdoor music festival? Like I can just DECIDE not to get sick.
Everyone is always disappointed in me, or mad at me, they think I am just being selfish.
Adrian says we just shouldn't go, but he doesn't understand that the anxiety of being 'disappointing' and a bad daughter and bad granddaughter are even worse than my stomach-fueled anxiety.
I just want to be able to say, "I'm really not feeling well" and get some sort of supportive response. I am not expecting, "Oh, you poor thing, is there anything I can do?" but at least a, "Alright, well if you can make it down later we'd like to see you" or SOMETHING that doesn't scream, "You have no idea how much sh!t you're going to be in if you don't do what we want you to."
Adrian says I need to be stronger, just be firm and stop feeling sorry for myself but he doesn't understand. I can't NOT feel anxious and guilty and literally sick when they get mad at me, it drives me nuts but I can't.
I'm sorry to vent to you guys once again, but I really just need someone to be nice to me today.. Now if you'll excuse me, I have a whole bunch of immodium to take so I can try and make the car journey.
--Steph

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~~I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell-I know right now you can't tell~~Matchbox 20
IBS-D,pain.

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