I'm gonna do it...but I need your help!
07/27/05 07:56 AM
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Ok. Decision made.
I haven't been around much lately as the "to take meds or not take meds, that is the question" decision has been looming over my head and hubby's for days now.
We considered waiting to see how much therapy would do to help me.
Then I spoke to my Rabbi and he said he would advise to take the meds FOR NOW and we would see about going off when I'm ready to get preggers. YES trauma can cause and trigger the symptoms of ADD, bipolar, etc. that I have. So some of this may be as a result of the abuse BUT I have a significant fam. history of chemical imbalances. So my Rabbi feels that meds is the way to go for now.
I spent over 2 hours at Whole Foods trying to see if I could do this naturally. I am NOT one to take meds unless ABSOLUTELY NECESSARY! And I heard some interesting things. I learned a lot!
Final Decision:
Hubby and I talked it over this morning briefly as we just can't do this every day/night any longer! He feels I should EITHER give therapy a chance without meds OR take meds and go off the meds in like a year and try things naturally then. His reasoning: We will FINALLY know what I am like as a stable person! There is no guarantee going natural. A LOT of trial and error and money and time. With meds...it is likely one will help! Once we know who I am/how I am as a stable person, I can try doing things naturally and we will have what to compare to. Plus I'll have done LOTS of therapy work which will make me stronger than I am right now.
I'm TERRIFIED of the side effects of drugs...long term AND short term! I am going to take the Lamictal today, G-d help me! I will find out where the proper ER is, write down the # and give it to hubby. I will prepare myself for the small yet SCARY chance that I will get a potentialy deadly rash and will need mmediate medical assistance. I will pray. I will use aromatherapy. I will call friends long-distance though they may be. I will write here and in a journal. I will do yoga perhaps, watch a movie...and I need to go shopping for Shabbos. Hubby and I hope to go camping Sun. so I will try to look forward to that as well.
PLEASE pray for me and if you have any words of encouragement, please don't be skimpy 
You are my FAMILY and I love you...
Scared, yet hopeful,
Ruchie
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Formerly known as Ruchie
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