Irritable Bowel Syndrome Message Boards | 7.5 hours on the road, 6 hours in the hospital (long)

I have a friend I used to know years ago. He's in a wheelchair due to a motorcycle accident; I never knew him while he was walking, we actually worked together and he'd try to make me do his job, complaining he couldn't reach, etc. He'd also pick on me mercilessly like good friends do, making fun of my army boots, mimicking me to get a laugh and such. Finally I couldn't stand it any more and just went right up to his wheelchair and tipped him right over.

I left him there til he yelled uncle, and we've been the best of friends ever since.

He said nobody ever treated him anything but disabled until then. He considers me one of his best friends. That was 15 years ago and we're still the closest of friends. I don't wear army boots any more (OK, maybe once in a while!

), but we still pick on each other, no holds barred. We trade meds, complain about insurance and docs, and have such a great time just watching tv together. I am so glad to have Andy in my life!! Everybody needs a friend like him!

His mom had severe IBS in the 50's, and doctors removed part of her stomach. She and I are kindred spirits, and we bond constantly over stupid things doctors say, new safe foods, etc. The three of us are really close, so when he called me saying he was going to put a pillow over her face, I know he needed me asap.

I drove 4 hours to get to the hospital where she's staying yesterday. I spent 6 hours by her bedside with Andy, all of us crying, and her not understand why she was there or even who we are. They have her on Alzheimer's medicine for her dementia, but it's made her so much worse. The low point during the day was when Andy told her that her husband died a year ago. She'd been calling his name for hours, and it broke her down completely to learn (re-learn) that he was gone. Really terrible stuff.

I ran to the nurse's station to get a tranquillizer for her, tears streaming out of my face. Just awful. (Nelly tearing up thinking about the scene again.) Sigh.

So I got on the phone to Andy's ungrateful brother in California to get him in here. I really laid it on thick telling him I could come only on the weekends, but *he* really should be the one taking care of his business. She's calling his name constantly. And he's allowing his wheelchair-bound brother to be the sole caregiver for his mother. He even dodges phonecalls when he sees they're from MD. Really burns me up.

So I drove 3.5 hours back home last night, arriving at about 2am. Total day: 7.5 hours on the road, 6 hours in a hospital. UGH. I am mentally, emotionally and physically drained. And when I dragged myself in finally, BF growled at me for letting the dog escape past me when I came through the door.

No love in Nellysville.

It's just so sad. I'm going back up on Monday or Tuesday. I've got to get Andy out of that scene for a while, even just to feed him or something. He's got a cot and sleeps by her bedside so when she wakes up screaming, he can hold her hand.

BF doesn't understand people in need, so I just had to post. He's a little like Andy's brother in California that way. I'm glad I could make a difference yday and she did recognize me while I was holding her hand. It's the meds that's made her all wonky, I'm convinced. 5 days ago I was having a lucid conversation over breakfast with her, and now she stares wildly and moans for help.

Thanks for listening. Gonna to go make myself a batch of medicinal AD brownies now.

~nelly~

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