I know. But I have gone long periods where I was fine. Then I have a bad spell. I just want some time without med.
Sometimes I feel like I don't know who the real me is. What was I like before this med?
I think it has really changed my personality. I used to get up in the morning at 6 a.m., go for a walk, do several loads of laundry, vacuum the entire house, and go to the grocery store ----all before 8 o'clock! Now I'm lucky if I get out of my pajamas before noon.
This is not me! Maybe it's a better me, but it's not the me I used to know. The one I was for so many years. I miss that person who used to get so much done.
I can't seem to get motivated to do anything. Nothing interests me anymore.
I don't even want to do any freelance writing anymore. I've totally ignored the editor recently.
Sorry, I'm rambling. I'm just trying to figure out what to do. I don't like this apathy I'm feeling.
I feel like I'm hanging on to watch my boys. I do want to see what they will become.
I guess it's a good thing I have kids. When I don't care to go on, I just think of their future---and hang on to that. I do hope to see them graduate from college someday.
Don't know what I'll do in the meantime though. That's a long time off.
I'm ok. I'm just hanging somewhere in the middle---not bad, but not good either.
Lordy, if you can make sense of this message, you're doing better than me. I'm just rambling. Sorry. For a writer, I'm not doing a very good job of organizing my thoughts.
Posts
Ruchie (and others)
