Irritable Bowel Syndrome Message Boards | Guys, I really need help

I'm sorry for bothering everyone, I know I've been lousy at keeping up with posts and I feel guilty asking for help now but I really need it.

I'm feeling suicidal...I dont' want to admit it but I am. Long story short a few weeks ago my doctor decided that all my physical problems I've been having is actually a combination of GAD (generalized anxiety disorder) and somatization disorder (google it...I can't explain it). This was a real kick in the teeth and I'm having trouble accepting it, although I suppose it does make sense and they have worked hard to rule out anything being physically wrong.

So, he told me he wanted me on a short-term leave from work so that I could withdraw from Effexor which he believed was making my anxiety worse. I get terrible withdrawal effects so he didn't think I'd be able to work...he then wanted me assessed by a psychiatrist with no drugs in my system so that they could determine the best course of treatment.

Basically, I've been suffering panic attacks, huge bouts of crying, nocturnal panic attacks where I've actually beat up Scott...and they believe that I don't even have IBS, but rather my body expresses my mental pain physically and normally gastrointestinally. It would certainly explain why I'm able to eat all the "no-nos" for IBS without any trouble (ice cream, pizza, fatty foods, dairy) but that my stomach will still flare up for no reason.

So, I was off work the last 3 weeks which some woman from a 3rd party evaulated my claim. They lost my file so it took them longer than normal to evaluate it, and now they've decided to deny it. She actually told me that I'm just a girl who needs to "grow up, stop wanting other people to take care of herself and get her a** back to work" I can't believe some nurse case manager can say that when she has a doctor stating that I'm "mentally unstable"

So, she said I had to go back to work immediately or I'd lose my job. As if that wasn't bad enough, my employer has now informed me that because I was unsupported, I may have to pay them back the money they've paid me for the last few weeks. And I don't have that money! I live paycheque to paycheque as it is! And then the 3rd party lady informed me that she told my boss that my previous short-term leave (last August when I was HOSPITALIZED for malabsorption/eating disorder) was completely bogus as well.

This woman has put my job in jeopardy and put me in a complete tailspin and I don't know what to do. my doc is trying to contact the head of her company (bless him) to tell them to straighten up...but meanwhile I've been crying for hours and seriously contemplating suicide. I'm all alone (bf isn't home for another 2 hours) and I don't know if I should go to a hospital or what I should do.

Any help woudl be so welcome right now...
Kelly

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