Ahhh, those racing thoughts! That's the same thing I thought when they started me on my med. I couldn't believe that a person could actually think about one thing at a time. I had always had 10 different "channels" going on at once! I used to get confused if I were driving and the radio was on. Now it doesn't bother me! Interstate traffic would give me panic attacks. Now I see only one lane at a time! Does that make sense?
Once on the medicine, I thought to myself, "Gosh, other people have it so easy---if this is how they "see" things!" Life used to be so confusing. Now it is much easier. What should've been easy was so frustrating. (such as preparing dinner.) I would open the pantry and be so overwhelming that I would want to cry. Now I can concentrate on one thing at a time. I just wish I had been diagnosed sooner. My poor family has had to deal with so much, including holidays where I would have a complete meltdown from all the stimuli.
Have you dealt with depression? I had a horrible case of it about 6 years ago (after a traumatic event), and that's when I was diagnosed. I thought everyone had "down" periods like this. It was only after I saw a doctor for this that I realized this was not normal. I had had ups and downs my entire life---but thought everyone had those!!! I asked my husband if he felt that way at different times of his life, and he looked at me puzzled and said, "What are you talking about?"
My husband says when I'm manic I jump from one subject to another while talking. He cannot follow my conversations. I don't realize I'm doing it, but he now knows to say, "Whoa!!! Slow down! You are all over the place!"
I've decided I have weird body chemistry. I don't know if it's the BP or what, but whenever I take meds, I always have the opposite reaction that most people have. For instance, Benadryl (the main ingredient in Tylenol PM) makes me so HYPER that I'm up all night. Same with Nyquil and the SSRI's that supposedly make people drowsy. And Sudafed makes me insane! I got into trouble taking it during allergy season one year. (I didn't sleep for weeks!)
I fought and fought the diagnosis of BP, but after 7 doctors came to the same conclusion, my husband advised me to give up and accept it! I do feel much better on the medicine and have just resigned myself to the fact that I will always have to take it---if I want to lead a life without constant frustation. The minute I discontinue the med, I am so irritable. I'm mad at the world, myself, and everyone I come in contact with. I could pick a fight with the cashier at the grocery store--and am usually in tears. It's just not worth it to me. Now that I have felt a peace, I don't want to return to that.
I hope this medicine helps you. Let me know how it goes!
Good luck!
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