Oh honey, I hope you feel better soon! As far as the pill and D, they are just worried you may not absorb the full dose, I've NEVER heard of anyone actually getting pregnant because of D though, I think its mostly a disclaimer to cover their a**es!!  If your cycles are regular, which if you are on the pill, they should be. You are only fertile for about a week. If you ovulate on CD14, which most girls on the pill do, then you could only get pregnant from about CD 11-18. So, thats the time you need to focus on. If you can't do condoms, you would probably be fine with the rythem method for that week.
Is your D ALL day long or is it mostly in the am or pm? If its mostly one time of day, take the pill the opposite time. So, if you have D in the am, take the pill in the pm. Can you/he tolerate spermicade jels/creams? That would be a good alternative and can add some slippery, fun!!  
Have you asked the clinic how much it would be to be fitted for a diaphram? That may also be an alternative. I've never used one before but have heard good things about them for women who can't tolerate the pill.
Curl up with the heating pad and some tea! Hang in there! Lots of love and hugs!
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Taking it one day at a time.....
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