Hi everyone.
I'm really disappointed about some stuff at work right now and I don't think there's anything I can do about it, but maybe if I write it down I can sort some of it out in my head and not feel so bad about it. So I've been working hard for about a month now trying to arrange to participate at a conference in Seoul, South Korea and to spend some a few days there afterwards working with researchers who our offices have contracted for a study on North Korea. So I worked really hard to get the budget justifications together and write memos to my directors about me and my senior policy analyst (I'm a junior policy analyst) to go to this conference, why we should go, what we will do, who we will meet with, arranging meetings, making plans with travel agencies and so on and so fourth. I've even made a bit of a nuisence of myself with my head director a few times making sure he looked at these memos and approved them even though he's been really distracted with other stuff. So I do all this work and I talk to people about coming to meet with them (people that in some instances I've had good business contacts with in the past) and then yesterday, finally, my executive director comes into my office and says that he can only send one of us to this conference and between the two of us we have to decide who stays here in boring old Washington. So, of course, now my senior policy analyst (since he's senior and all) has said that he's going. I'm trying to be good support staff and pretend like I'm not upset and just work hard to make sure that he has a good and productive trip, but honestly - I REALLY wanted to go on this trip!!! I feel like I deserve it after all the work I've done and I also know I'd do a good job and I'm convinced that the study that we're contracting now would be better for it (but maybe that's just my ego talking). Either way, I know I can't change anyone's mind, trying to argue or even put things nicely and suggest another option would only make this worse, too many egos involved here and I know good and well I'm at the bottom of the totem poll on this decision. I'm just sad about it is all. Sorry to wine, but this is the only place I can do it until I get home and be sad with Hubby - I have an ego too and it would look really bad to let these people know how much the decision is effecting me. So I'm glad it's close to the end of the day I guess, and I hope you guys are having a better one than I am.
Min
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Feeling sad
