I didn't know how right I would turn out to be!!!!  This is by no means the end of the world and I'm sick to death of my own whining to tell you the truth, but no one in my "real world" can seem to grasp why I'm upset tonight. All the people who care about me can ever say is, "Just be glad it's not endangering your life" every time something eles comes up wrong with me. Of course I am thankful for that and appreciate that but I'm the one who has to live through this stuff, not them, and it's still a pain and a bit depressing after a while to have once been such a healhty, athletic person and literally be falling apart at 32 years old!
So I had a gyno appt today. I was overdue for an annual checkup anyway and also my GI wanted me to go, to see what they might have to say about this possible pelvic muscle problem it seems I'm having. Turns out my bladder has completely "fallen". So while right now I only leak urine from time to time and it's not really affecting my life or anything, he said, "To be honest, it's going to get worse, and have to be addressed at some point in the near future - but I'd go get your GI issues worked out first". Worked out?? That would be nice! He said I probably feel like a ping pong ball by now and I do - I've been passed back and forth from the OB-GYN to the GI and back and forth again ever since Sarah was born (June 2002). She was a 10 pounder delivered au'naturale and that little beauty completely did me in. Basically everything inside me just doesn't work anymore, isn't where it's supposed to be anymore, and I might as well be 70 years old!!!
So while continuing to search out the answers for my chronic constipation and bloating/pain, I get to look forward to this OTHER problem getting worse until what, I'm wearing diapers? I mean seriously? He said there are surgical procedures to help it. I don't want another surgery anytime soon, either, they took my uterus in fall 03 from complications following delivering her - NOT FUN.
You all KNOW that she is 100 times more than worth it and that is not at ALL why I'm here complaining... I trust you know that!! But is it wrong for me to be just a little frustrated/sad at feeling so darned OLD???? I mean, my Mom hasn't had to deal with most of the stuff I have and she's gonna be 60 this year (colon polyps, hysterectomy, now tacking the bladder back up where it belongs and hoping that keeps me from wetting myself....)
Sorry guys. I have a great life and great husband and great kids. I have more to be thankful for than I can even begin to put into words. But right now I just need someone to understand and maybe even let me have a good pity-party cry! I think it would actually make me feel a good bit better.
Thanks for being there guys.
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Take care,
Michelle
...the greatest of these is LOVE. (I Cor 13)
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I've been saying that I'm "falling apart"
