Definately would tread carefully in a letter, it is permanent evidence! Yes, you are right that words will need to be chosen carefully. I would stay away from anything confrontational that makes it sound like she is at fault (even though she is). You love so many things about her, make sure you find a way to weave them in. Let her know that your faimilies happiness means everything to you, and that she is a BIG part of your family, she even started a new generation of you! If you feel she is a good mother, compliment her on that. Say taht you could never dream for a better dil, you are lucky your son found someone so special that treats him right (if she does). Point out that even if it seems like the two of you are too different to get along, that you already have things in common: Loving your son (her husband) and your grandchildren (her children) Apologize for the fact that maybe you weren't outward wnough with trying to show her that you care. (this is a good idea because hse may think you don't like her, or just not feel comfortable around you, might be intimidated, etc). Let her know that you are realizing life is too short, and one day when your time is almost up you don't want to have regrets that you weren't able to bring your family together. maybe spread the heat off of you alittle bit and mention the whole family, and that you are writing since you are Mom, and it is Mom's job to bind the family together. i am usually better at this stuff, but having a dry spell today. These are just ideas, feel free to use, tweak, say the opposite, etc. I know sometimes just reading ideas is enough to get that one spark, and before you know it you wrote a book. You want to be true, don't write anything that you would not be comfortable with. and if you are being phony it will show and probably turn her off. maybe inlude a tiny peace-gift? Does she have a favortie thing, like say dolphins for example? You could include a dolphin something or the other. Or if you are both very religious, a religious token might be in order. I know back in the day when I was a practicing catholic, I gave my sister a Virgin Mary watch medal after we were fighting. My mother had also gave them to her sisters after thier grandmother died, so it had significance. Again, like I said, just ideas! nad make sure you proofread! I am asure Bev or someone in your family that knows you well would do a great job! Good luck! And let us know how it goes! Even if it doesn't work, atleast you will have peace over it, because you can honestly say that you gave your all!
-------------------- -Sheri
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