I woke up this morning feeling so depressed that I decided it was time to take some drastic measures.
A brief history: I have been struggling with chronic, painful constipation for about 7 years now and I am absolutely miserable. I recently had another upper GI (due to bad acid reflux) and my first colonoscopy all in the same day. No problems other than internal hemorrhoids were found.
Anyway, I've been reading/searching through posts on here looking for solutions to my deep depression. I read the recent post by Stephie describing her battle with this and her post almost described me to a T. My relationship with my girlfriend is suffering because she is constantly trying to "cheer me up". I have difficulty seeing good in anything. I like my job but I don't feel like being here (especially when I'm in pain which is most of the time) I'm always tired even though I try not to stay up late, I have difficulty getting up in the morning and normally the 30 minute drive to work is my worst, lowest point of the day. I have very little faith in any of my doctors, I feel like I am talking to myself.
HOWEVER if I have a normal bowel movement (which rarely occurs) my mood lifts immediately, but it doesn't last. I am caught in this cycle where I feel like if I wasn't in pain I wouldn't be depressed, but I've honestly forgotten what it feels like to be happy (and pain free). If I try to discuss this with my girlfriend she is sympathetic but she doesn't relate either because she is naturally an upbeat, happy person. I love her very much but I feel our relationship is going downhill and I feel like a failure. I am only 31 years old but I feel like an old man.
I bought Heather's book a while back and have tried at different times to change my diet, increase my fiber etc etc...but I never stick with it because I get feeling very low and turn to eating foods that give me comfort after I don't see any improvement.
So...I was reading about the Hypnosis program, sounds good in theory but I'm skeptical. I'm thinking maybe if I try this and start feeling at least a little better then it would be easier to work on adjusting my diet and lifestyle.
Anyway, I didn't intend to write this much but it feels good to get it out. I don't think this kind of stuff is that uncommon but I feel absolutely lost.
I could really use some friends right now that can relate. Thanks for your time and take care.
Brian
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Feeling hopeless/depressed - Hypnosis?
