I'm glad you posted. I know it can get overwhelming. I'm so sorry you're going through this!!
You don't deserve this!!! It's not your fault you feel this way!!! Please try and rest!! You're so stressed and it's taking over everything!! I have been there too and I know!
Be good to yourself and turn off those bad people in your life and get some sleep! There are people here who love you and are happy to call you their friend. I know I feel that way!