Friendship Q oh wise ones!
10/14/04 06:24 AM
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daliatree
Reged: 07/10/04
Posts: 1176
Loc: Manhattan, New York
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hello ladies if you had been friends with someone for seven years who had a very needy, insecure, anxious, negative character and had made a suicide attempt at 17 (and is now 25) and STILL hasn't been to therapy even though the anxiety exists at almost of every turn, with little decisions and big decisions. And you were always honest with this friend, being there for her but reinforcing that you cannot take a professionals role and that her problems will return no matter what until she deals with them. Finally, after seven years and a terrible summer of IBS where you couldn't be there for her as much, you lose it with all her little worries etc and send her a long letter telling her about why you feel the friendship has changed and she needs to see someone. She is furious and says you are so patronising and demonising her etc....she has shown the letter to new friends and they are all SHOCKED at what I said about her character. Have any of you had a friendship like this? I must say I feel mainly at peace. I didn't want to hurt her but I had to be honest or I couldn't respect myself and she needs to hear the truth about how she effects people. Those new friends are still seeing her fun side before she find the one she will lean on and then boom...lots of pressure. I do care for her...we had some good times....but she told a mutual friend after I sent this email that all I did this summer was moan about my stomach...hahahahaha what a joke....she had food poisoning for one day and was so miserable!!! anyway....wondering if anyone had similar experiences...I am sad she found me patronising because it wasn't my intention, but I feel like any way I would have written it would have been perceived as patronising.... I just got frustrated because in all the seven years I have known her she has remained the same.....and I feel like I am moving forward and she is still in the same place...
-------------------- Feel the fear and do it anyway!
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