Tried again this morning once I had the apt to myself. Basically went the same as last week except I felt a stronger push in my stomach - it was closer to actually coming up (but still didn't). I felt more anxious this time than last time I think. I feel like I'm physically and maybe mentally stopping myself from throwing up even as I'm trying to. I'm so conditioned to do that, so it felt like only a half-hearted attempt in a way.
I'm not sure this is the right path to take. I need to get over the fear and the obsessing thats for sure, but I've been reading a lot and not everyone does it this way. Of course I'm not excited about doing this so its hard to know whether my gut feeling (sorry) that this isn't right is something I can trust. Therapy is tomorrow, last week she pushed hard for me to keep trying to induce myself to throw up often until it somehow becomes a non-issue. I'll think about it more tonight and then hear her advice tomorrow.
-------------------- Ladies & gentlemen take my advice, pull down your pants and slide on the ice.
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Re: round 2 -warning don't read if you're emetaphobic like me!
