Irritable Bowel Syndrome Message Boards | Ruchie, there's no laughing here!

Ruchie,

It takes a while for some of us to build up the strength to do stuff like this. Interacting with others isn't always easy, and sometimes we make ourselves so nervous about it we just can't do it at all. You're not alone in that!

It took me years to be able to do stuff like that confidently. My mom always took care of stuff when I was growing up, and I guess she never taught me how! I used to get so turned around when I was talking to people... it was TERRIBLE. I always felt like such a useless moron. After all, who can't return a shirt at the store, right? TONS OF PEOPLE.

Try writing down (or just think it through really well, if writing feels stupid or takes too long) a stream-of-consciousness list or paragraph (page!?) of the task you have to do (like, go mail that package) and why you're nervous. Write down (or think) what could happen. All the good things, then all the bad ones. List it all out. Then try to focus on what you can do after each of the potential results. Sometimes this helps it all not be so scary. Think of little mental scripts you can have. And remember, millions of people mail packages every day and most of them skip steps or fill something out wrong or whatever. Try to think "big picture." Will it really matter 25 years from now if you filled out the wrong form and got embarrassed in front of the grouchy clerk? Of course not. (I'm not minimizing your fear, just trying to help with some perspective. It helps me, at least!)

While you're listing, try to come up with all the steps that may get confusing once you're there, and nervous. To use the example (and I don't mail packages often!), you may need... what? labels? proper postage? to get it weighed? to insure it? to get a receipt at delivery? Whatever it all is, write down all you can think of and then check it off as you move through the Post Office. (I use this in all kinds of scenarios. I'm the queen of lists!)

Just remember that you're only human and you can't hold yourself to perfection. You do know that right!?

My last bit of advice: BE HONEST. Go up to the clerk at the Post Office (or wherever) and smile sweetly and say "I always mess this up. Did I get everything, or is there something else I should have done?" Not many people can resist a "can you help me?" from a nice person. I swear, that being up-front (and extra nice!) gets you a million miles further than you would have thought. It's how I broke my fear of public interactions.

And Ruchie? SMOOCHES!

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