Hey guys
03/23/05 11:58 PM
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Stephie
Reged: 03/10/04
Posts: 2696
Loc: Vancouver, Canada
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Sorry I haven't been reporting in, I have just been insanely busy all of a sudden with school and tutoring and stuff. I have gained more weight, which is really disappointing because even though I haven't been reporting in I have still been counting calories. It feels so frustrating when I continuously deny myself food I want 'cause I worry about the calories, but still keep gaining weight. Then the doctor said that with the medication I was on, I won't be able to lose weight! I feel like crying.. I am not going to give up trying to lose, but I think I need to stop weighing myself. I get so down.. not that I won't realise how much I weigh - none of my clothes fit and I feel uncomfortable and self-conscious all the time. My boobs are so heavy now that my shoulders are constantly sore, and I have big welts in them from my bras but I am too scared of reduction surgery. I am getting really depressed about the whole thing - all I keep thinking of is how my ex-friend has been telling people how fat and lazy I am now and I want so badly to prove her wrong, but I am just blowing up like a balloon.
See, now I am crying even as I am typing this out. I don't know what to do anymore, I think maybe I just need to take a break or something and try not to think about it 'cause it's really doing my head in.
Thank you for all your support over the past little while, you've all been really great. (Especially you, Shell!!).
I'll try and check in and see how the rest of you guys are doing, even if I don't report in for a while. **hugs** --Steph
-------------------- ~~I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell-I know right now you can't tell~~Matchbox 20
IBS-D,pain.
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