Oh poor you! It's gets so much better, I promise you. I went into depression after being diagnosed and I've been on SSRIs for a while now. They're a lifesaver. IBS seems to go with messed up serotonin levels, which doesn't help! Talk to your doctor about getting some meds. It's just not worth feeling miserable AND they can help the IBS as well!
Have you got Heather's "EAting with IBS" book? It's got some great stuff, although some is a bit OTT for everyday! My hubbie's and my favourite from that book is the Butternut Squash Linguine, which is sooooo safe. Comfort food for the tummy. And it's just scrummy. Have you trawled through the Recipe Index as well? There are some great things there. Unless you have a real problem with cocoa (chocolate's different - it's high fat too), then I would REALLY recommend the Anti-Depressant Brownies. These are heaven after not being able to eat anything for ages and they're really easy. And even my old picky housemates loved them. Why not make them with your daughter? Bet she'd love licking the bowl afterwards!
Good luck! And keep right on talking. We're all here for you and so many of us on the boards have suffered from depression that there's a LOT of expertise!