Irritable Bowel Syndrome Message Boards | It finally happened

Well I have now been officially diagnosed with depression and have been signed off work for a month, but am not expected to come back for two or three. I don't know if it is a relief to finally admit there's something wrong as I have been getting this way for so so long and denying it to myself. I made the mistake of having an unhappy (due to medical reasons, no-ones fault) childhood/teenage years and then last year became really happy and secure with myself. Obviously my body couldn't handle that and decided to become a scared kid again!

Part of me thinks, what are you being so melodramatic about, you're not really ill � you don't look ill. But part of me thinks it is not normal to feel sick for a year, not sleep for five nights in a run because of panic attacks, be afraid to go into crowded places, crying over the phone to my mum � arrggh.

I'm so fed up of this � but determined to beat it as everything else in my life is going so well. I've got a great therapist, the antidepressants should kick in soon and I took a sleeping pill last night so I feel at least vaguely human again.

I suppose now I have to stop trying to go to work that removes a lot of the stress � and I will just have to start going out and having fun for the first time in a long time. In a way life seems brighter because I know there is nothing physically wrong with me that makes me weak, the dizziness is in my head, therefore I can do things like walk up a mountain and I won't collapse. Anyway, on a more gentle note, I'm going to start my new tapestry now. I've never sewed before in my life, but I thought it would be a good way to keep myself occupied. Plus it should look great when it's finished. I might even investigate doing a gardening course in a month or so �. hhmm, there's so many possibilities.

Print Remind Me Notify Moderator