Oh, Shelby, you poor sweetie. First here's a {{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{BIG HUG}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}
Second, my heartfelt congratulations on being a breast cancer survivor for 12 years! That's GREAT!!
As far as soy, yes, I've read that it has estrogenic effects but who knows if it's really a risk factor. But there's always rice milk and rice dream ice cream that you could have instead of soy.
Good luck and please don't stress out too much. You don't want to trigger your IBS now, do ya?