Oh, dear god, NO!! Suicide is a PERMANENT solution to a TEMPORARY problem. So DON'T DO IT!!!!
Yes, I know the feeling. Sometimes I just want to die too. But what I realized a few years ago, is that I don't really want to die, I just want the PAIN TO STOP!! Am I right? Isn't that what you really want??!!
And that's okay, because you're in the right place to get the help and advice you need to get that dang pain to stop.
Now, as Michele said, PLEASE find a way to mention this to your doctor. I know how tough it is. The way I did it was when I was there for a check up and he asked me how I was feeling and I said "Not too good" and burst into tears!!  He picked up on it right away and asked me if I'd been feeling depressed. I was able to nod yes. Then he asked me if I'd like a referal to a therapist. And again I was able to nod yes. IT SAVED MY LIFE!!
Now you just have to read some of the older posts here and see how many desperate people like yourself have come here and gotten help and are now happy and joking around and making smart ass comments in the Living Room. It's a real miracle.
My final thought is something I read in a cognitive therapy book. The feeling that there's no way out and you can't be helped is the BIGGEST indicator that you CAN be helped. Paradoxically enough, it's true.
Sending lots of comforting pink light your way and
{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{BIG COSMIC HUGS}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}
Hang in there. It does get better. We ALL promise, right everybody??!!
--------------------
Laura
Keep it simple!
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