Irritable Bowel Syndrome Message Boards

I really feel badly about you mother-in-law. I know what you're going through. The funny part is that my mother was also a great sewer and at one time worked for a bridal shop. She did alterations and would spend hours sewing sequins and beads on the wedding gown. She bought my daughter's wedding gown and spent hours adding more sequins and beads on it so it was just the way she wanted it. My sister is only 4 years older than my daughter and she did the same thing with her wedding dress. She could knit, crochet etc. She was the best cook and just so talented. That's the hard part about seeing them go downhill.
Please forgive yourself for not being with your husband when he went to vist her. I know in his heart he understands. When I went to the nursing home with my husband and father she was so upset with me and I had not idea why. It was because she thought I was my father's girlfriend even though my husband was with me. At first I didn't think I could go back to the nursing home to see her myself. My father is able to take her out for a few hours each day and brought her back to my sister's house (where my father lives in his own apartment.) She was so much better that day that I have still been able to see her. It does upset me a lot. Two of my mother's sisters have Alzheimers and are in nursing homes. They got it after her but went into nursing homes before she did. My father took care of her until it was just too much for him even with help from my sister and I. He has a bad heart and I'm afraid we'll lose him even sooner than her. My mother's parents both had Alzheimers as did her brother who has already died. There are two other brothers but since they live in Florida and nobody hears from them I don't know if they also have it. The doctors have told me I will get it and have done an MRI on the brain to see if there were any signs. At the time they were also checking for a tumor. As of two years ago there is no sign. My mother's doctor told my father last week that my sister who is only 43 and me should both have our doctors put us on Aricept now which helps with memory as my mother has the slow progressing type of Alzheimers. I looked it up but since it causes diarrhea was wondering whether I should or wait until I get this IBS under control.
As I said before please forgive yourself. Your mother-in-law knew you were a loving person and I know she wouldn't have wanted you to see her go downhill. I also know your husband understands in his heart. Look to the future as we can't change the past. Thanks for all your help. I really appreciate it.
Your Friend,
Pat

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