Ha! Amateurs!
03/01/04 11:13 AM
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jenX
Reged: 08/11/03
Posts: 3252
Loc: Richmond, VA
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How about a second date with a really cute and smart guy you've had your eye on for months...
I've always been able to tolerate a beer or two in the past. He offered me a Belgian Wheat Beer. Sure, I say, thinking: thank goodness I had some bread in the car on the way here! Yay, another good tip from Heather.
Just one, I say, and smile. We toast, we drink, we chat, we flirt, we walk to a nearby tapas restaraunt. We order 2 tapas each (I pick things that are IBS friendly. What a "good doobie" I am, I think.)
We're talking. We're chatting. UH OH...
I get a familiar feeling...
I excuse myself politely and do "the walk" (I love it!) to the bathroom. It's a tiny 2-staller and both stalls are full. Nice. I wait, trying to breathe slowly and calmly.
I finally get in to "do my thing" and realize it's much much MUCH worse than I thought. I'm doubled over. Tears running down my cheeks. The 2 staller is no longer the lovely place it had been before I entered! I'm panicky, sweaty, and want to vomit. 15 minutes later I emerge, embarrassed, to apologize to my date (whom I had not told about my IBS before the date!). I made a brief explanation and decline any more alcohol (that he had considerately ordered for me while I was gone!).
Not 3 minutes later.... UH OH...
I realize at this point I am screwed. It's the first of 4 more visits (at 10 miutes a pop!) to the little teeny bathroom. On this 2nd visit, more tears. On the third visit I make a panicked call to my best friend 'cause I'm convinced I will die in this potty! How on earth am I going to drive the 1 hour home!? (IBS-Ders, you know the feeling, I'm sure!? That "let me make my will out now, 'cause I'm not gonna make it out of here alive PANIC!)
When I finally came out the last time (3 hycosamine later), I was a little more under control. The last thing I wanted to do was eat, but I tried to be polite. After dinner, we had to walk back to his place, where I made my excuses and went home. Made it home ok, but slept for 2 days.
By the way, the 3rd time I emerged from the bathroom, the waiter and my date are conversing and the waiter expresses concern. Even asked if the food were the problem. Oy!
(Yes, my date actually asked me out again! Can you believe it!? )
PS: This was my first indication that quite possibly wheat and I are not the friends I believed us to be!
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