Hi Sommer! I don't have answers to all your questions, but here's what I do know:
Peanut butter is only safe in very small quantities because it's very high in fat! I have trouble with peanuts, but I believe many people here are okay with a small PBJ sandwich.
Canned spaghetti sauce is fine, although like any sauce it helps to sprinkle a little bit of sugar on it to cut the acidity, since that bothers many IBSers. Also make sure it's not too high in fat... I usually buy Ragu Light.
Soy nuts are one of the safest nuts, but are still nuts nonetheless, so are very high in fat. They're something you'll want to snack on sparingly!
Homemade chicken soup is fabulous! It's a great way to get your veggies and protein. Watch out for canned, though, which often contains weird ingredients like MSGs or chicken fat.
Restaurant chocolate cake is usually not safe, because it's almost always very high in fat and made with milk. I don't know much about angel food cake, but I'm pretty sure that's usually dairy-free, and that's why it's safe when most pre-made cakes aren't.
I hope that helps! I know how confusing this can be, so keep the questions coming! 
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"Anyone can exercise, but this kind of lethargy takes real discipline." -Garfield
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