really sorry to hear your or anyone else's stories, hugely unfair and of course people that don't understand are not worthy of your friendship.
I've been v lucky cos I'm a girl (and similarly to how in school us girls never got picked on for getting good grades, whereas it was much harder to be a model student and not be bullied if you were a boy!), but one strategy I've employed is changing terminology. With close friends/family I don't mind being remarkably honest regarding digestive issues, but under normal circumstances I don't even say that I have IBS (which often has a stigma attached to it/ people don't even know what it really means). I just say that I have various food intolerances and food sensitivities and I have to follow a strict diet. I usually say that I have to eat v low fat (for normal/average people 20%of your kcal coming from fat is v low fat!) otherwise I get a lot of pain and spasms. I also say that I am lactose intolerant and can't have dairy. This way people have seemed a lot more sympathetic and understanding.
Has anyone you know who has a nut allergy or can't eat eggs ever come in for ridicule??
Eating out can be v tricky, but most people can work wonders with the SFS, avoid difficult FODMAPs and ask for your meal to be virtually fat-free. It is difficult and again I'm afraid it's just easier being female to ask for special diets. That's just people's attitudes or that's how I've experienced it at least. But by adopting the above strategy I have found that most of the embarrassment stemming from IBS having to be explained to the world at large is gone, never say that you have D or C, say you have a great deal of pain or that you're sensitive to what you can and can't eat.
Hope this helps a little bit at least.
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now: stable through EFI+FODMAP dieting (no lactose/no fructose/some fructans and some polyols)
before: IBS-D(pseudo-diarrhoea), bloating, often unbearable pain esp from too much fat: Apr 2007- Dec 2010
FODMAPs: http://www.todaysdietitian.com/newarchives/072710p30.shtml
[I've tried VSL#3 -> I could tolerate v good amounts of IF (even with less SF), it worked great (but overall I find it too expensive)]
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