And I don't mean to sound rude, but IBS is unfair as you say, however you have to make the best of it. Attitude is half the battle. We sound alot alike in how our bodies process foods. Do you work on other aspects such as exercise, hypnosis, meditation, etc? All of these help the mind and attitude. That is much more the issue for me than the food.
I hope this helps some and believe me I do know and share your discomfort.
It's not my attitude...I have had IBS for a long time and the last month has been the worst in FIVE years. I have no idea what is going on...all I can think is this is some adverse reaction to me switching to Align from Jarrowdophillus (which what my GI doc said). Even though I was Align only 1.5 week and have been off it almost a week.