Hi Maria,
Wow, can I relate to your post. I am rather new here and usually post to the Living Room, but happened upon your post.
Everything you said is exactly what I deal with every morning for about the same commute time. Now, it has gotten to the point of being a crazy driver. Has that happened to you, yet? In my fear and anxiety about getting to where I need to go, I have started to drive like a mad woman. This is just not me, and I have got to change it.
This morning I was in such a panic to get to work, that I tailgated everyone down the road, changed lanes constantly, and ended up getting pulled over. The cop was nice, since I have a squeaky clean record, and just gave me a warning. He asked me if I was late for work, and of course I said, yes. I wondered later what he would have said, if I had just told him the truth. That I was suffering with a very disabling condition, and was doing the best I could.
Don't get me wrong...I have many wonderful days. Mornings are my only problem, and I know if I don't start with the problems within the first hour and half to two hours, then I will be OK for the day. I can't tell you how grateful and happy I feel when I have a really good day. Most of the time, when I am in a panic, it is for no reason, but sometimes it is. I just barely make it in the door at work, and I have to go quite a bit. So, I understand how you feel with the false alarms. You just can't take that chance and you have to stop. There is a really private, great Burger King restroom on my way to work that I hit often. No one is there that early, so I have relative privacy. I am lucky in the fact that I live in a rural area, so I am not on an interstate, and it makes a quick stop very easy.
This morning when that cop stopped me, I thought I am just going to die. My stomach was bubbling and noisy, I was afraid to pass gass,(for fear it might be stool), and he just took so long to run my license. I thought this it it...I am going to mess myself. But, when I got to work I had a few formed movements and was fine.
One thing that has helped me is talking to myself and realizing that it would not be the end of the world if an accident happened. I decided that I am putting way to much emphasis on it. Is it worth killing myself in a traffic accident in my panic and fear? A big, giant, NO!!!!! So, I carry a blanket and towel with me in my car and if I am really nervous, I will take some Immodium upon arising. I can usually tell the condition of my stomach when I wake up, but not always. I carry a change of clothes and if need be, I would not hesitate to wear protection. I know that this all sounds like a bit much, but it does calm you down somewhat just being prepared. And, if an accident does happen, then I will turn around and go home, call work and deal with it. It is not the end of the world. This outlook has helped me greatly.
Another thing that has helped me is the Acacia fiber. I haven't used it for very long, but I started with one half teaspoon in the evening, and ever since then, no D. That doesn't mean I still don't go quite a bit, but so far so good, and it has been soft but formed. Hallelujah!!!!!! I was trying the Acacia in the AM, but it was making me feel bubbly, so I stopped it for now. I believe I started with too much, so take it easy to start. I really haven't changed my diet much, but that will be my next step.
I haven't been dealing with this very long, but I am determined it will not control my life. I may have it, but it doesn't have me. There were times when I thought I was the only person in the world dealing with this, but now I know on that commute in the AM, there are many driving right beside me with the same fear.
Another thing is the fear of telling anyone including co-workers that we have a chronic condition. We as a group have to take the embarrassment out of it. After all, everyone has something. A person is not ashamed to tell someone they suffer from migraines, or back spasms, or whatever, but we are so ashamed to excuse ourselves and explain we have this condition. I refuse to do this anymore. At work, (luckily, I am in a medical environment), this morning when I came out of the bathroom for the third time, I just laughed and said I have bubble gut again. There is only one restroom and it is right out front of the office, so it can be uncomfortable. But, you know what, they just laughed. I think we have built it up in our heads to be SOOOOO big, when really, people could care less. They are more concerned with their own lives than to worry about our bowels. I know this to be true, because that's how I feel. If someone is in the john over and over again, I just don't give it much thought. So, why do we think it is such a big deal. I think people are more willing to embrace us and our conditions than we realize. I really am starting to find this to be true.
I know that this has been a very long post, but know that it will get better. Especially, when you take a little of the focus and emphasis off it somewhat. This is what I have come to learn about myself and this condiiton within this past year.
I am due to be downsized in about three weeks, and in a way I am looking forward to it. It will allow me some time to work on myself, and hopefully when I go back to work, have an even better handle on this condition.
I hope this helps!!!!!! 
Lynn
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