I can't believe it. Here I am about 9 months into stability and even though my summer was a little rocky (due to my own fault of cheating a little too much here and there), I have felt good besides gas/bloating which I can't seem to conquer completely. I had a few d episodes this summer but prior to that, none since February.
I am taking lexapro for anxiety and it has also made me more c so most of the time I am trying to eat more IF to make me go. I usally have a bm every other day, sometimes daily, but never loose. SOOOOO...here comes the stressful month...I knew it would arrive and I tried to remail calm, but my stupid mind always gets the best of me. My son started kindergarten and I have to wait at the bus stop a block from my house. You would think that I wouldn't be nervous b/c it's only a block away, but whenever I have to "wait" with my IBS, I feel awful and vulnerable. Does anyone else feel this way? I am less likely to have a panic attack if I am in control of driving him or picking him up. There are other parents at the stop so I could leave in an emergency but no one knows about my situation and I would feel awful if I had to leave him, especially in these early weeks of his first bus rides.
So the first day of school I awoke with my stomach churning (keep in mind that I have been diligent about eating right this past week). I had d several times which I was so disappointed about.  Ugh...it has been so long since it has gotten the best of me. So I took some klonopin to calm myself and muddled through the wait with my husband at least there. I almost ran back home at one point but I stuck it out and made it.
Then today I had some d again this morning (well...a few loose stools, not really full d) but I didn't take anything. Instead I took some extra acacia in my cereal (1/2 tsp instead of my usual 1/4tsp...that is all I have been taking for months and months just in the AM). I ate some cream of wheat and banana and I got my act together and went to the stop. Then I had to take my daugter to her first preschool orientation. Talk about new situations this fall. Ironically, my belly did not bother me at all...no nerves, I was fine. Went to pick my son up from the bus stop and was fine again. But then came home and I've had d much of the afternoon????? I don't understand. Maybe it is the underlying stress. I did eat a pb & j sandwich on whole wheat but that is not an uncommon lunch for me and I also kind of felt uneasy even before eating it...I haven't had anything since...just my soyfee which still has some acacia in it from the AM.
So my plan of attack is to relisten to some of the hypno cds these next couple of days (I finished the full set in March). I'm going to keep doing 1/2 tsp of acacia in the am...or should I take some before bed instead? I haven't done yoga in ages so I should probably do some of that again...the problem is that I have no time with all that is going on, thus the stress in the first place. I should mention that I did work out the last two days (vigorous walking) which I have not done in a month or so...could that have triggered the d?)
I'm frustrated, nervous, anxious, annoyed, and discouraged at the very moment. From my experience I know I have to keep my chin up, but the thought of having to go to that dreaded bus stop every day, twice/day is killing me. You'd think I was taking a bus across country.
So any support, encouragement, or advice is much appreciated. Thanks. 
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Originally IBS-D for a million years!
Then IBS-A, Now a transformed slightly C
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anxiety set-back...need advice and encouragement
